The Torn Pages

If you've been a long-time reader (at least since March) you may have remembered this dilemma. Well, when I came to work yesterday I was greeted by a dark office. This in itself is not unusual, as people are taking vacations this time of year. However, when I walked in and flipped on the light it seemed a bit… empty. My "roommate" had quit.

In discussing it with one of the other guys I work with, he informed me that the quitting had officially taken place on Friday, but that he'd shown up early in the morning to clean out his desk. The music that he'd constantly play and leave on when he left for hours? Gone. Yay! I can go back to listening to my own music tastes, thank-you-very-much.

Also, it was well known in the office that he had been job hunting. I hadn't needed to say a word. I found out that one day when I was gone he'd been looking at some well-known job-hunting site on my computer and left the screen up for the plant manager to see. Tell me he didn't want to be caught! I guess the manager played dumb, just looked at it and said, "Now what dumbass would go and leave a job-hunting screen open on the computer like that?"  After turning whiter than his normal scandanavian complextion had him, I guess he was pretty quiet, but as far as they knew didn't do that one again.

He also applied for a job with the company that my former "roommate" had gone to. He had moved out of state when his brother was killed in an accident to be closer to his family and young nephew. He is still a friend and keeps in touch… so when the "big dummy" (as he is referred to and trust me, it fits) applied for a job with them, former roomate had called to talk to the manager about him. The manager had to be honest and just say he was pretty lazy and it probably wouldn't be a good fit. This was a couple of months ago, so they knew he was continuing to look.

I wish him well, I do. I honestly don't look forward to having someone new to have to "break in". Guess when you've been at a job for nine years there will be some of that, though. It is just part of the whole process. With the fall crunch right around the corner I hope they can find someone good that can step right in and so the job. It is badly needed.

Who said all surprises are bad ones?

In keeping with random themes I have, we here at The Torn Pages have started a new one, prompted by the past 24 hours.

Years ago when I met my husband, he had a motorcycle. It was not a Harley, just something else. He'd had a Harley before he met me, but somewhere along the way had traded. At any rate, when we got married we didn't have a conventional honeymoon, but rather loaded an old camper-topper on the pickup truck, hooked up a trailer to the back and hauled the motorcycle out to South Dakota. Anyone who has ever ridden a motorcycle has probably heard of the big motorcycle rally in Sturgis, SD, in the summertime? Well, at that time I hadn't but Hubs had gone to it a couple of times and even though this was not at the time of the rally, he wanted to show me around the area. Plus, c'mon…it's South Dakota! A very beautiful state with lots of things to see.

So my first real exposure to a motorcycle was on the back of one going through the Black Hills. I'd post pictures, but the "helmet hair" would be too frightening.

Fast forward a few years and for one reason or another we both lost interest. I know why I did… it was a trip from Iowa to Wisconsin in the rain… but why Hubs did I'm not sure. Probably had something to do with four kids and logistics.

Now fast forward even further and you have come to a couple of weeks ago when youngest son bought a Harley.Although the thought was never far from Hubs' mind, suddenly the bug was alive. A week later we also were the proud owners of a Harley. Then became the 'accessorizing' phase, followed by the "getting re-acquainted" phase. That's pretty much where we are now.

We've taken a couple of short rides and figured out a new seat was in order for me - my ass isn't getting any smaller - and I needed some boots, we got helmets, etc. Yesterday we decided to go for a ride and test out the new gear. We did some riding over near the river and wound here and there - it was a beautiful day. We have some goggles on order, but at this time I can only see when we're going fairly slowly, otherwise the wind bothers my eyes too much and my glasses don't protect enough, so then I'm riding with my eyes closed. Luckily this time we were riding slower and I was able to look around quite a bit.

As we were going down near the river on a county highway, a dump truck was in front of us. I'm new enough to riding that I'm paranoid as hell. I had visions of rocks dribbling off the truck and bounding into us so I kept watching for it. Hubs stayed back pretty well, so it wasn't like we wouldn't have some time to react. Then after a bit I noticed an suv following us. Now I was wondering if that guy was going to pass us and if he'd have enough room to go around us and the truck or would he try to get in front of us… you know, all those crazy things that go through your head when you're riding along on a beautiful summer day.

Because I was watching so carefully I saw it happen.

One minute we're riding along and then next I hear a huge BANG!… and the truck in front of us throws a big piece of rubber our way while simultaneously veering across the oncoming lane and slamming into a deep ditch… landing on its side with the load - which turned out to be horse manure - spilling out all over and the gas tank about 300 yards into the nearby field. Hubs kept his cool and pulled over to the side of the road. I look at him and ask if he has his cell phone. I have mine, but figure his is right there in his pocket. He says he doesn't know where we are (at the time not thinking about the fact cell phones now have the GPS in them just for this reason)… when I see the neighboring farmer heading our way running down the road. I say, "He'll know where we are".  Suddenly an arm comes up out of the truck… "I'm okay"… a faint voice.

I couldn't believe it. The guy was okay. A small cut on his lip, otherwise he was fine. His truck was toast, but he was okay. Another neighbor pulled up saying he'd called the highway patrol. Several people stopped to make sure things were okay, and the suv that had been following us had pulled over when we did got the rubber off the road. Hubs went and helped the guy climb out of his truck.

As bad as it was, it could have been soooo much worse. I know that, and we talked about it, but I didn't think it had bothered me so much until I had nightmares about it all night last night. I mean, if he'd had gravel and spilled it on the road it would have been a problem for us… If someone had been in the other lane coming… If WE had been in the other lane coming… if the guy hadn't had his seatbelt on and had gone through the window…if it would have blown out when the guy was going really fast down the hill next to the river to make it up the next hill… I mean, your mind can come up with a million different scenerios.

Thank goodness it wasn't as bad as the things my mind can come up with. Still? Is on the list of one of those experiences you'd just as soon not have.

Can you believe it? That's when it all began….

Thanks everyone who is still here, or who came along late! So, just for fun… can you tell me ONE thing you've learned about me in four years?

Oh, and if you are new or don't want to play, just de-lurk and say hello. I'd love to hear from you!

I realize the leaves haven't started turning yet, but around here it is starting to feel like fall. Hubs refuses to let me turn off the a.c. claiming when it is this cold out it isn't running anyway, but in my mind I know it is on and that makes it even chillier in the house. I sat outside on the deck after I got home from work yesterday afternoon and it was actually cool in the shade. I think the high today was to be maybe 80. That's just so strange. We didn't even have any really blistering hot days during the State Fair! That's very bizarre.

I keep hoping it will warm up a bit to help dry off the crops. They were late getting in, late getting going - what with all the rain and cool, cloudy weather we had at the beginning of the season. Now it is time for them to be drying out and getting ready to harvest and they are still looking mighty green to me. I've heard that frost and winter will be late this year… I hope so, as we'll need the extra time.

Still? I feel like I've missed so much of the summer this year being cooped up in the house - or rather, cooped up in the bathroom.

Finally heard back from the doc. We're going to be Ms. Experimental again. This time it is another oral medicine. Januvia. Not supposed to have the side effects. We'll see. I started it this morning. Everyone hold your breath and cross your fingers…

School is back in swing for the old and young kids. Grandson has started middle school - can he really be that old?? Younger daughter is back at college. The streets in town are packed with new college kids wandering around checking out the town and returning students getting settled.

On top of everything else that tells me summer is ending is the official race season where my son races on Saturday nights only has one more regular night race, next weekend. Then the Supernationals start for a week and maybe a special race here or there. Hard to believe the race season has gone so quickly as well.

One of these days my days and nights will be filled with combines and trucks and corn dust and dirty, hungry, tired guys. My workplace will turn into a race against time and my home will make my head spin with activity - making lunches, suppers, and zooming back and forth to the field - somehow mixing that in with my 60 or 70 hour weeks at my "town" job. I'm trying to figure out how to stay sane this year, but I'm probably fighting a losing battle. Once I get behind on my sleep it takes me until Christmas to catch up again. Oh, who am I kidding, more like February.

I'm treasuring every spare minute of quiet I get right now and yeah, I'm going to have a little piece of watermelon.

Today is a normal day. Normal is good. Normal is something we take advantage of. Normal is something we ignore because it is… normal.

I had a normal weekend. I did some errands on Saturday and even went to my sons' race. It felt good to get out, although a bit tiring. I made up for it Sunday and didn't go out. Then again, I rarely go anywhere on Sunday, so it, too, was normal.

Today I was awake at my usual time to let the dogs out…then I went back to bed for awhile. I got up at my normal time. I got ready for work, ate my breakfast, did NOT vomit, and except for a small detour to take the dogs to the groomer… ended up at work at a fairly normal time.

I expect to get off work at a pretty normal time, pick up the dogs from the groomer, and arrive home at my usual time. I don't expect to have to spend any extra time in the toilet today, nor do I expect to feel like I need to all day long. I don't expect to feel exhausted by noon and wiped out by three. I expect to return home a bit more tuckered than I was when I left, but not much. I expect this to be a good day.

My life may be boring to some, but for me… normal works.

For over a month I've been torturing myself with a new medicine regime perscribed by my doctor for my diabetes. Yesterday I said "no more".

On Monday I doubled up on the injectible medication, going from 5 mg twice a day to 10 mg twice a day. The fun also doubled. I went from nausea most of the day to out-and-out projectile vomiting, almost immediately. A week of not being able to keep down the simpliest of foods, like saltine crackers, left me weak, depressed, and … oh, yeah, my sugar levels were down, but who cared? I know I certainly didn't. By yesterday I was a mess of muscle soreness, weakness, and frustration.

I called the doctor, of course getting his nurse. After explaining the torture I had been enduring for the last few weeks she agreed with me that maybe this medicine wasn't the right fit for me. I'm still waiting to hear back from the doctor on what the next move is going to be… increase the oral meds? Try a different one? Insulin? I don't know. I only know that I am never going to go back on Byetta again. Ever. I'm taking a stand. I refuse to live like that. That is no life.

Friday.My house is clean. My garden is weeded (almost entirely). The strawberry shortcakes sit cooling. The strawberries have been cleaned and sliced. The critters are safely ensconced in the bedroom so as not to bother the allergic members of the family.

Fast forward a few hours and the kids, their spouses, and the mother-in-law are all sitting on the deck overlooking the creek. The sun is setting and the temperature is cool, but not cold. Hubs has grilled some chicken drummies and we're all nibbling, drinking, and laughing as the conversation goes from one topic to another, several times overlapping.

If someone would have told me thirty years ago that my life could be like this I would tell them they were crazy. It doesn't get any better than this.

Happy Birthday Hubs… I think I enjoyed it almost more than you did!

I am not, nor have I ever been, a 'suzy homemaker'.  I think it began when my mother tried to beat it into me by making sure I was up at the butt-crack of dawn every saturday for as far back as I can remember to clean. My areas were… everywhere. I have yet to figure out for sure what it was my mother actually did all day every day when she was home alone. Oh, yeah… I remember. Drink. Have coffee with the neighbor women. Make sure I was where I was supposed to be. (Lest you get all thinking she was a soccer mom for her day, she wasn't. I didn't do extra-curricular activities, except for the one time I went out for a play and band - but I walked to and from those.) 

Saturdays were for dusting, vacuuming, doing laundry, cleaning bathrooms (with a toothbrush), scrubbing floors. It still entailed my dog duties of walking, feeding, brushing and cleaning up poo from the yard, as well as weeding in the garden if it was summer or raking in the fall or shoveling in the winter. Laundry day was Monday, so I got off the hook for that on Saturday, at least. I always joked, half in earnest, that I never got to see a Saturday morning cartoon until my kids came along.

I am a sporadic housekeeper. I like a clean house, but haven't the motivation to keep it spotless all the time. I go in spurts… cleaning furiously for a a day or two, then proceeding to 'maintain'. A few times a year I get in what most people call 'spring cleaning' mode, when I actually do windows, closets, drawers, etc., and may throw tons of things away. My husband always hates those times for the mounds of garbage that accumulate for his disposal.

With pets or kids things automatically triple. I no longer have kids at home, but I do have pets… so you can be assured there will be toys to clean up, litterboxes and pens to clean, extra vacuuming, and various little 'messes' here and there.

Why do I bring all this up now? Because I'm taking on the challenge of my filthy, ignored house. I've set a goal for myself to get it back in shape before the party Friday night and it is going to be a task. It's okay, though. At least now, unlike when I was a kid, I'm doing it for me and mine. I'm not doing it because someone else is holding a brick over my head telling me I HAVE to do this… I'm doing it because I really do like my house and want to take care of it. I want it to felt loved and appreciated, because it is. I just wish I had some magic fairy dust or a few of Snow Whites' fairy godmothers to snap things into shape! 

Don't know about you, but all this grumping around is getting quite tiresome. So, as a result, we are going to take a moment to look at the bright side:

• The weather has been pretty good. We've been DAMN lucky with wind and hail storms having JUST missed us - I mean a mile from our fields. Is going to be a really weird fall, tho'. Hubs has already said harvest probably will be starting about a MONTH later than usual. A month. That's going to be strange. Hope winter doesn't decide to come early this year. Could royally screw things. I'm not going to think about that now, tho'… this is a positive post.
• My medication is getting better. I think. I've made some adjustments in my working habits and at the moment it appears to be helping. For some reason morning is the worst for me so I'm working in the afternoons. I am still getting nauseous after breakfast, but at least the bathroom trips have slowed down and the cramps aren't as bad. Of course, my injectible medication goes up to the regular dosage (2x what it is now) in a little over a week. Keep your fingers crossed it is a easy transition.
• I'm gradually… very gradually… getting a handle on the weeds in the garden. We've had some choice discussions, weeds and I, but I refuse to just get the Round Up out and nuke 'em. I have standards. I can do this.
• The house is still a pit, but I have a week to get it into shape before Hubs' birthday on Friday and I am swooped down apon by my children and their spouses. I must say, I am probably more excited about this than Hubs is. I am so excited to get to see my kids. It has been too long. I felt so badly for having missed game night and I really do enjoy my family and love it when we all get together. I'll put on an extra push this week to make the house presentable once again.
• The Iowa State Fair is in progress, but I just can't get excited about it this year. I love the food and watching the people, but the prices have gone up and I really, really, don't need to eat my way through the fair. Hubs will probably go down Wednesday night for the tractor pull, but I've had my share of those in the past and think I'll let this year go.
• Anyone who isn't living under a rock knows the Olympics are under way right now as well. There are some Iowa competitors and although I'm not a big Olympic watcher since Mark Spitz won a whole lotta gold in swimming (there, I'm dating myself)… I have been a bit more interested this year in all the hype they've drummed up for a local gymnast Shawn Johnson. She's a firecracker, that's for sure. Good luck to all the U.S.A. Olympiads!

So… how is your summer going?

Once again life has kicked me in the stomach. This morning we found out a son of one of our landlords, a 46 year old man, had a heart attack and died while vacationing with his family. Forty-six. My gosh that seems so young to me. One more reminder to live life to the fullest and, yeah, you can't take it with you.